Mommy and Uncle Fred

It's Saturday morning and John's just about
to set off on a round of golf when he realizes
that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy
who fixes the washing machine is coming around
at noon. So John heads back to the clubhouse
and phones home.

"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says John. "Is Mommy
near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with
Uncle Fred."

After a brief pause, John says, "But you haven't
got an Uncle Fred, honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom
with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down
the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom
door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Fred that
my car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little
girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what
you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed and ran around
screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went
out the front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Fred?"

"He jumped out of bed too, and he was all scared,
and he jumped out the back window into the swimming
pool. But he must have forgot that last week you
took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the
bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."

There is a long pause.

"Swimming pool? Is this 555-3097?"