Philosophy

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:<BR>
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.<BR>
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.<BR>
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.<BR>
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.<BR>
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.<BR>
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.<BR>
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.<BR>
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.<BR>
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.<BR>
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.


GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:<BR>
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.<BR>
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.<BR>
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.<BR>
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.<BR>
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.<BR>
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD<BR>
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.<BR>
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.<BR>
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.<BR>
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.<BR>
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.<BR>
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.<BR>
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.