Warning Signs That You Need A New Lawyer

You met him in prison.<br>
During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.<br>
He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."<br>
When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.<br>
He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."<br>
During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.<br>
He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."<br>
A prison guard is shaving your head.<br>
Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and
proceeds to drink a shot.<br>
He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.<br>
He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.<br>
He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said . . ."<br>
He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.<br>
Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the
little hammer, right?"<br>
Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in
the air with his fingers.<br>
The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25."<br>
Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."<br>
He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."<br>