Two Ducks Flying South

Two ducks were flying South for Winter when an Airforce jet overtook them at around mach 5...

After about 40 mid-air somersaults and feathers flying everywhere, they managed to compose themselves and one duck says to the other: "DID YOU SEE THAT?"

"I SURE DID!!!!!" says the other duck.

"AND GEEZ, WASN"T HE MOVING!!!!"

"He sure was," says the other duck: "but so would you if you had two assh*les and both were on fire!"

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In The Dark

Wife: Oh, come on. Husband: Leave me alone! Wife: It won't take long. Husband: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Wife: I can't sleep without it. Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Wife: Because I'm Hot. Husband: You get hot at the darnest times. Wif ...

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