Top Ten Things NOT To Say On Your Anniversary

10. Today is our what?

9. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time we had sex this year.
Here's a $5 gift certificate for MacDonald's.

8. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I'll take you to Pizza Hut if
it'll shut ya up.

7. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?

6. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will.

5. I thought we only celebrated important events?

4. Having sex doesn't count as a gift?

3. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in
love.

2. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about sex.

1. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.

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Laid Off

A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting read to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below. He thought to himself, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got of ...

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