Top Ten Signs Your Girlfriend is Going to Dump You...

10. Your visa card and your belt both hit their limit.

9. She's been wearing an engagement ring for three weeks, but you don't recall proposing to her.

8. She just started a college course that meets seven nights a week.

7. She says she has to tell you something... on Jerry Springer.

6. Her love letters come soaked in formaldehyde rather than perfume.

5. Whenever she introduces you it's always "I would like you to meet an old friend of mine..."

4. She leaves a message on your phone and identifies herself by both her first and last names.

3. Your other girlfriend told you so.

2. The dartboard behind your photo on her wall.

1. Her girlfriends look at you, tilt their heads, and say, "You haven't got a clue, do you?"