Top Ten Signs You Know You've Joined A Redneck HMO

10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape.

9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming.

8. Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m"s on each pill.

7. Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day".

6. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

5. The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy.

4. The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter.

3. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

2. Directions to the Dr.'s office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park".

1. The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's

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Out of the Grave

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though, they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night the old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest ...

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