The Ferret

A man goes into a bar one evening and is surprised to see a ferret with no teeth, on the bar. He asks the barman what the ferret is for.

"That, sir, " says the barman, "is a gentleman's pleasure."

So saying he puts the ferret down the front of the man's trousers. The ferret scurries around for a minute and then gives the man the best oral sex he's ever had.

Afterward, he asks the bartender if he can buy the ferret for $500.

"No can do, " he says, " it cost me a lot, what with the dental work and everything."

The man then offers $1000 and the bartender accepts.

That night the man takes the ferret home and goes into the kitchen where his battle-axe wife is eating chocolates. He puts the ferret on the table and says: " Look what I bought for $1000. Its a gentleman's pleasure."

"What do you expect me to do with it?" asks the witch.

"Teach it to cook and then piss off!" says the man.