The $100 Tattoo

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the
hell have you been?"

He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain;
"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, for one; I like to watch my money grow, and two; once in a while
I like to play with my money, three; I like how money feels in my hand and
lastly; instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and
blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.