Poor Tom

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and
falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in
a white robe standing in front of his bed. "What the hell are you doing
in my bedroom? ...... and who are you?" he asked.

"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you
are in heaven."


"WHAT!!? Are you saying, I'm dead? I don't want to die ..... I'm too
young." said Tom. "If I'm dead, I want you to send me back
immediately."


"It's not that easy", said St. Peter, "you can only return as a dog or
a hen. You can choose on your own"


Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is
too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life.


Running around with a rooster can't be that bad. "I want to return as
a hen." Tom replied. In the next second, he found himself in a chicken
run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow ........ then along
came the rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm." he said. "How does it
feel?"


"Well, it's OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up."


"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on.
Have you never laid an egg before?? Cluck twice, and then you push all you
can."


Tom clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then
'Plop' and an egg was on the ground.


"Wow" Tom said "that felt really good!" So he clucked again and
squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground.


The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "Tom, for Pete's
sake!!! Wake up ... you're ' crappin ' all over the bed!"