Me drunk?

A fellow decides to take off early from work and
go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at
which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his
house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off
his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs.
Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and
lands flat on his rear end.

That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had
couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and
they broke, and the broken glass carved up his
buttocks terribly. But,he was so drunk that he didn't
know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was
undressing, he noticed blood,so he checked himself out
in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up
something terrible. Well, he repaired the damage as
best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed.

The next morning, his head was hurting, and his
rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the
covers trying to think up some good story, when
his wife came into the bedroom.

"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said.
"Where'd you go?" "I worked late," he said, "and I
stopped off for a couple of beers."

"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied,
"You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?"

"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night,anyway?"

"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I
got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids
stuck to the mirror."