Lovemaking Tips For Older People

1. Put bi-focals on . double check that you're with the right partner.

2. Set alarm on your clock for 2 minutes... in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting . turn them ALL OFF!

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember what to scream out at the end.

6. Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have heating pads, tylenol, splints and crutches ready in case you actually complete the act.

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Hearing

During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed. One man's request was for his hearing. The evangelist spit on his finger, put it in the man's ear, prayed for him and asked him, "How's your hearing?" The man replied, "I don't know. It's not until ne ...

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