Golf Tragedy

Verne was teeing off from the men's tee. On his downswing, he realized that his wife, Lucrecia, was teeing up on the woman's tee directly in front of him.

Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her
directly in the temple, killing her instantly. A few days later, Verne got a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy.

Coroner:" Verne, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple, is
that correct?"

Verne: "Yes, sir, that's correct."

Coroner: "I also found a golf ball wedged up her butt."

Verne: " Was it a Titleist 3 ?"

Coroner: "Yes, it was."

Verne: "That was my mulligan."

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24Hours to Live

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife says, "Honey, you know I now have onl ...

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