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Female Comebacks



Man "Haven't we met before?"<BR>
Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" <BR>
Woman "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man "Is this seat empty?" <BR>
Woman "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?" <BR>
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man "Your place or mine?" <BR>
Woman "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" <BR>
Woman "It's in the phone book."

Man "But I don't know your name." <BR>
Woman "That's in the phone book too."

Man "So what do you do for a living?" <BR>
Woman "I'm a female impersonator."

Man "What sign were you born under?" <BR>
Woman "No Parking."

Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" <BR>
Woman "Do not Enter"

Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" <BR>
Woman "Unfertilized"

Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason" <BR>
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." <BR>
Woman "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man "I know how to please a woman." <BR>
Woman "Then please leave me alone."

Man "I want to give myself to you." <BR>
Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man "I can tell that you want me." <BR>
Woman "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy <BR>
Woman "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?" <BR>
Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man "Your body is like a temple." <BR>
Woman "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man "I'd go through anything for you." <BR>
Woman "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man "I would go to the end of the world for you." <BR>
Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?"






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A Funny Joke

An Affair

An old man walked into the confessional at the cathedral and said to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. Last night I had an affair, and I made love to two 18 year old girls. Both of them. Twice." The priest replied, "Well, my son, wh ...