Duct Tape

Davie walks into a bar and sees his friend Norm slumped over the bar.
Davie walks over and asks Norm what's wrong.

"Well," replies Norm, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I
told you I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Davie, with a smile.

"Well," says Norm, straightening up. "I finally plucked up the
courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!" says Davie, "When are you going out?"

"I went to meet her this evening," continues Norm, "but I was worried
I'd get an erection again. So, I got some duct tape out of my truck and
taped my penis to my leg, so if I did get a woody, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible." says Davie.

"So I get to her door," says Norm, "and rang her doorbell. She
answered in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

Norm slumps back over the bar again. "I kicked her in the face."