Too Much Hunting

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made
my lunch, grabbed my shotgun and the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to
load the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I
pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the
weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out hunting in
that sh*t?"

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Three-legged Pig

There was this guy and he was driving along until he got a flat. He spotted a near-by farm and decided maybe they had a phone. When he got there he saw a farmer and a pig. The only thing was the pig only had three legs and a wooden leg where the fourth was missing. "Hey there, you wouldn't hap ...

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