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Assertiveness



A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so
he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build
his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he
read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached
his house.

The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a
finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I
am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare
me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I
expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're
going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my
bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

"The funeral director," said his wife.






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A Funny Joke

Herpes

A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admire the animal. "What's your dog's name?" she asked. "Herpes," replied the dog's owner. "How....odd," said the woman. "Why Herpes?" "Because he won't heel."