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Computer Helpline



Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?<BR>
Female customer: A white one...<BR>
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Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.<BR>
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?<BR>
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.<BR>
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...."<BR>
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still<BR>
on my desk... sorry ........<BR>
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Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.<BR>
Customer: Your left or my left?<BR>
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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?<BR>
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.<BR>
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ..<BR>
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill<BR>
Gates!<BR>
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Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says<BR>
'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front<BR>
of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...<BR>
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Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?<BR>
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.<BR>
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Helpdesk: And now hit F8. Customer: It's not working.<BR>
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?<BR>
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...<BR>
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.<BR>
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?<BR>
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.<BR>
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.<BR>
Customer: OK<BR>
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?<BR>
Customer: Yes<BR>
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another<BR>
keyboard?<BR>
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!<BR>
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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter<BR>
V as in Victor, the number 7.<BR>
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? <BR>
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A customer couldn't get on the internet.<BR>
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?<BR>
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.<BR>
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?<BR>
Customer: Five stars.<BR>
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Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?<BR>
Customer: Netscape.<BR>
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.<BR>
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.<BR>
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my<BR>
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!<BR>
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Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?<BR>
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you<BR>
please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?<BR>
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?<BR>
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4<BR>
hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?<BR>
--------------------------------------------------------------------<BR>
Helpdesk: How may I help you?<BR>
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.<BR>
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?<BR>
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it.






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A Funny Joke

Catch a bunny

Q: How do you catch the Easter Bunny? A: Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!