25 Signs You Have Grown Up

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.<BR>
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.<BR>
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.<BR>
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.<BR>
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.<BR>
6. You watch the Weather Channel.<BR>
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."<BR>
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.<BR>
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."<BR>
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@.. kids
next door won't turn down the stereo.<BR>
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.<BR>
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.<BR>
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.<BR>
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.<BR>
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.<BR>
16. You take naps.<BR>
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning
of one.<BR>
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,
rather than settle, your stomach.<BR>
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms
and pregnancy tests.<BR>
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good sh*t."<BR>
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.<BR>
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never
going to drink that much again."<BR>
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.<BR>
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.<BR>
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them
instead of asking "Oh sh*t what the hell happened?"