New Redneck Edition

It's out! Brand new edition of... "You know you're A redneck when......"

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.<BR>
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly Swatter.<BR>
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.<BR>
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.<BR>
5. You think the "nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.<BR>
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.<BR>
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.<BR>
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.<BR>
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.<BR>
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.<BR>
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.<BR>
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.<BR>
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.<BR>
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.<BR>
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.<BR>
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.<BR>
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.<BR>
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.<BR>
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.<BR>
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.<BR>
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your Father made it.<BR>
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.<BR>
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.<BR>
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.<BR>
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.<BR>
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.<BR>
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of Improvements.<BR>
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.<BR>
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on Jury Duty.<BR>
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.