Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has
recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus.

My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters,
who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a
transvestite. My father and mother have recently been
arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are
financially dependent on my other two sisters, who
are prostitutes in Dallas.

I have two brothers, one is currently serving a
non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder
of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is
currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual
misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former
prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time
"working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this: I love my
fiancé' and look forward to bringing her into the
family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest
with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who supports John
Kerry for President?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation