Signs to Hang in the Office

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts
to bite people themselves.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I have not yet begun to procrastinate.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm just a carrier.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

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Tetanus Shot

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "I'm going to the doctor." She says, "Why, are you sick?" He says, "Nop ...

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