Seminars for Men Women

SEMINARS FOR MALES

1. Combating Stupidity
2. You, too, can do housework
3. PMS -- Learn when to keep your mouth shut.
4. How to fill an ice tray
5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas -- Give us money
6. Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4: 00am
7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks")
8. Parenting -- No, it doesn't end with conception
9. Get a life -- learn to cook and then clean up the kitchen
10. How not to act like a jerk when you're obviously wrong
11. Spelling -- Even you can get it right
12. Understanding your financial incompetence
13. You -- The Weaker Sex
14. Reasons to give flowers
15. How to stay awake after sex
16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom
17. Garbage -- Getting it to the curb
18. You can fall asleep without "it" if you really try
19. The morning dilemma: shower first, THEN breakfast
20. I'll wear it if I damn well please
21. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly "No, it's not a bidet")
22. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms
23. Give me a break -- Why we know your excuses are b.s.
24. How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost
25. The remote control -- Overcoming your dependency
26. Romanticism - Ideas other than sex
27. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes
28. Mother-in-laws -- They are often people, too
29. Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home
30. You too can be a designated driver
31. Seeing the true you (formerly "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson,
especially when naked")
32. Changing your underwear -- It really works
33. Fluffing the blankets after flatulation is NOT necessary
34. Techniques for calling home
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Now, for the females.... (seminars will be given by men only)

SEMINARS FOR WOMEN

1. "Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes"
2. Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?")
3. Elementary Map Reading
4. Crying and law enforcement
5. Advanced Math Seminar -- Program your VCR
6. You can go shopping for less then 4 hours
7. Gaining five pounds v. the end of the world: a study in contrast
8. The Seven-Outfit Week v the Seven-Week Outfit
9. PMS -- It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly
Since Puberty -- Deal With It)
10. Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission
11. Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights
12. Driving III: Approximating a constant speed
13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving--It's As Simple As Oil and Water
14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game--A Sacrament
15. Telephone Translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love You")
16. How to Earn Your Own Money, not just Spend His
17. Giftgiving Fundamentals (was: Fabric Bad, Electronics Good)
18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup
20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
21. We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: LET'S LET IT DROP
22. MYOB: Proper response to other couple's public arguments
23. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (was: WE learned to deal with the
embarrassment)
24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels
25. What Goes Around Comes Around--Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
28. Committment Schmittment (was: Wedlock Schmedlock)
29. "To Honor and Obey: " Remembering the small print above "I Do"
30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House
31. Your Mate: Selfish Jerk, or Victimized Sensitive Man-child Healing
Wound by Expressing the Latent Wild Man Within?
32. Yes, you too can were the same clothes more than once!