Politically Correct

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
"BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" -
She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY
ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a
"LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a
"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY
IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She
gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" -
She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes
"VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY
EXTROVERTED."

11 She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE
HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a
"LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has
developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY
CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" -
He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE
REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers
"GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" -
He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He
has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is
"RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY
FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants-It's
"REAR CLEAVAGE."