New Drugs For Women

D A M N I T O L<BR>
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T<BR>
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N<BR>
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of
how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved
out.

P E P T O B I M B O<BR>
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed ! before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
conception.

D U M B E R O L<BR>
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R<BR>
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge
to flip off other drivers.

B U Y A G R A<BR>
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration,
and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N<BR>
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T<BR>
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share
their life stories with total strangers in elevators.


N A G A M E N T<BR>
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation
level as nagging him.