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Guide to Dating

Find out what those dating terms really mean

ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with a particular

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT ..... what occurs when two extremely horny, but not
entirely choosy people meet.

DATING..... the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and
energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially
like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL..... avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as
swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and
dating repulsive men.

EASY..... a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of
a man.

EYE CONTACT..... a method utilized by one person to indicate that they
are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have
difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to
shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located
in her chest.

FRIEND..... a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes
sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE..... a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted
by the man to be "playing hard to get".

INTERESTING..... a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do
all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT..... what the endearing little qualities that
initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months

LAW OF RELATIVITY..... how attractive a given person appears to be is
directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC..... a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more
often than he does.

SOBER..... condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

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