Mid-Life

Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you
are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you
naked.
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The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still
half- full...of course, the bad news is that it won't be
long before your teeth are floating in it.

Mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have
wingspans...we are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we
are flying squirrels in drag.
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Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a
mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.
/n
Mid-life brings the wisdom that life throws you curves...and
that you're now sitting on your biggest ones.
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Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in
a tube top and scream, "Listen, honey, even the Roman
Empire fell, and those things will too!
/n
Mid-life is when you start to repeat yourself...and your
chins follow suit.
/n
You become more reflective in mid-life. You start pondering
the "big" questions -- what is life, why am I here...how
much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no
longer a healthy choice?