Let Mom Help

Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a
virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was
nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good
man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you."

So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed
his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama,
Tony's got a big hairy chest."

"Don't worry, Maria," says the mother," all good men have hairy chests.
Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."

So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his
pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
"Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!"

"Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man.
Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you."

So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on
his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran
downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"

"Stay here and stir the pasta," says the mother.

"This is a job for Mama."