Talking Clock

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked. "It's not a gong. It's a talking clock" the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup" replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the second guest asked, squinting at it.

"Watch" the man said. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed "You friggin' IDIOT!...it's ten past three in the morning!"

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6 Foot Cockroach

A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was standing there. The cockroach immediately punched him between the eyes and scampered off. The next evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang again. When he answer ...

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