Pet Monkey

Guy in a bar playing pool has a pet monkey. Monkey jumps onto the
table, grabs the cue ball and stuffs it into his mouth and swallows it. Bartender
freaks and starts yelling about how much cue balls cost , etc. The guy
tries to calm him down and tells him the monkey will pass it in the next day or
so and he'll wash it off real well and bring it back.

Sure enough the guy and the monkey come back into the bar and gave
the bartender his cue ball back. Meanwhile the monkey reaches into the
peanut bowl, grabs a nut, sticks it in his butt--then eats it. The bartender stares
at the monkey who continues to repeat this action again and again. So he
asks the guy, "what's up with that?"

"What?"

"your monkey keeps grabbing peanuts one at a time and sticking
them in his butt then eating them."

"Oh, that---well, ever since the pool ball incident, he has to measure everything before he eats it."